Okay, so you don't have to know my name. Just to know me as your biggest fan, your biggest Directioner.
I always sit in front of my laptop just to stalk your timeline and smile when you guys tweet some fans. I don't know why I always do this. My friends and my family said it just wastes my time. I know, I know it just wastes my time. Stalk someone who doesn't even know I'm exist, spend my time just for search all of 1D's lastest news, spend my money just to buy your album and all of stuff about you, and many more. But they're wrong. You know when someone falls in love? They will do anything for them. Me neither. I fell in love with you and your songs. I love someone who doesn't me return. But its okay. Just to see that you say you love your fans it could makes my day. I'm the one of them, right? And then, I always see you guys reply the fans tweets and some pictures that you hug with fans and I smile. But behind my smile, there is a pain. Why did you reply another fans tweets. But you've never replied my tweet, even follow me. Sometimes I wonder, why are they ignoring me? Do they love me?And then I remember that you don't even know that I exist. I just want you to know that I'm exist, I do exist Boys, I do exist. I'm here, still breathing. I don't know when God will take my life. But I hope you guys would notice me before the day that God will takes my life. I don't want to say anymore. There's so much that I want to say, but I can't say it.
Plus, when Zayn deleted his twitter account. Why you deleted your twitter? I can't see your tweet anymore :( I know you sick with all the hate and useless opinions but please prove to them if you're strong! You know? In last morning (Wednesday, August 22 2012) I heard that you deleted your twitter account I'm crying! I'm sad, I'm crying to the fact that you delete your account! My breath is irregular, I'm shocked, I don't do anything, just laying in my bed waiting your twitter come back. Even you not follow me, I'm okay. But please don't delete your twitter! I love you Zayn. I want to see your smile in twitter, I want to know what happen to you. I know you don't know who I am, but I'm your fans no matter what happen to you. I never want your mercy, I just need your smile. I'M SAD, I'M CRYING. If I'm in bad mood I'll see your tweet and NOW? YOU MAKE ME DOWN WITH YOU DELETE YOUR TWITTER ACCOUNT! I don't have anything about you in real life, but I have your twitter and now it's gone! It's never come back and my life is gone one piece too. You know? If it's already gone one piece, is not strong again, it will be easy to destroyed, it will be broken.
Zayn... First time I know One Direction is from you. First member I love in One Direction is you, and now why you become the first member who deleted the twitter account? I have no idea about this. I know that every human being has a limit of patience, maybe this is the highlight of your patience. I know your sick with all of the hates but please prove to them that you're strong. I know your sad, your disappointed, but please for this time... come back join to twitter Zayn. I'm sorry if I have any fault to you, whatever it is. Please forgive all Directioners if we all hurt you. I love you, I don't care what people said... They're not know the truth about you, I don't really know too but I believe what you do is right for you. Actually I don't like men with tattoos, smoking, and pierced. Because I think it's terrible, but you? I don't know why I couldn't hate you. I know there are people who make you sick by making untrue reports. That's why I don't like the gossip! I really hate it, they let go around without knowing what is right and what is wrong.
I always remember what did you guys says "don't wastes your money for us" but I can't handle it. I saw many pictures Directioners with all stuff about you guys, I want it, I want like it too. Wear everything about you, but what? I don't have enough money. I still have an interest other than that all, but I'm jealous with another fans. And my reasons why to be a Directioner very heavy it is because I live in Indonesia and it is very far from the UK or the US. But even so, I would still support them with all of my heart wherever they are.
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| I'm crying when see this... |
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| but then... I try to little smile when see this, |
I hope you read this guys... and Zayn, I hope when you read this you can back to twitter again. I really want you to back to twitter.
Love,
Jamila Juwita
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